crunchy parenting

h3=. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh85R-S-dh8

Ah, bathtime. It’s the end of the day, and often a tired, cranky scramble for parents and small ones alike. Here are some small tips to get the littles ones down as peacefully peacefully as possible.

* _No sweets after dinner._ Keep dinner as nutritious as possible, but eliminate candy-like desserts. This means no chocolate, ice cream or sugars. Our standard dessert right after dinner is a little bit of fruit, anything from bananas or watermelon to strawberries. (After our kid’s in bed, my husband and I might indulge in a little ice cream or such, but the fruit helps curb our “bad dessert” habits a little.) This is easier if you never give your older baby or toddler candy, ice cream, or chocolate, but you can start this anytime and their taste buds will adapt eventually. Aside from the obvious health reasons, less sugar with dinner means a less sugar-highs and therefore, a less cranky kid through bathtime and bedtime.
* _Get as much possible ready beforehand._ For me, this means sneaking off during dessert and getting the bathroom and bedroom ready. I straighten out the crib blankets and toys so everything looks neat and inviting (30 seconds). I lay out on the bed pyjamas, sleeper, socks, and a clean diaper ready-to-go (30 seconds). A quick check in the bathroom to make sure there’s a soap, toys, washcloths and a clean towel within easy reach of the tub (30 seconds). Note that this isn’t cleaning up! It’s just getting the important stuff ready.
* _Sing a song on the way to the bath_. We sing one I made up and am actually rather proud of. The “Rubber Ducky Song” from Sesame Street also works if you can’t think up one. But the trick is to make singing the song on the way to the bath a daily ritual. Now our little girl will often start humming the song herself towards the end of dinner. Not always, though. Sometimes she shakes her head ‘no’ when we start singing it, in which case we have to get inventive as to how to get her to the bath.
* _Trade bathtime duties with a partner_, if possible. Since I have our daughter most of the day while my husband is at the office, he does bathtime most nights. This gives him some time to spend with our daughter in the evening, while I unwind for a little bit and read my Twitter feed.
* _Get a few toys, nothing special and not too many._ Washcloths, sponge cars, cups for pouring. I stay away from electronic toys or things that make loud noises for night-time baths; you don’t want your kids getting riled up at bedtime. Toddlers need few toys to be entertained and you also don’t want them so entertained that they don’t want to leave the bath.
* _Make a game of washing fickle parts_, like “yuckies” behind the ears or “sugar bugs” from teeth. As adults, we tend to think these games “get old” after a few times, but toddlers actually thrive on repetition and routine. It can take months for a toddler to become bored with something and by then you can change it up just a little to make it into something entirely new.
* _Give them a clear sense of what’s going to happen next._ This can be done by starting to sing a reserved bedtime song while on the way out of the bath. (Ours is “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”.) You can also verbally walk your child through the rest of the evening’s schedule in three steps or less: “We’re going to get dressed for bedtime, then look out the window and say “good night, everybody”, then cuddle in bed and go to sleep.”

The key is to keep it simple, and repeat it the same way as much as possible so that they learn the routine. Eventually, it becomes ingrained as simply “what they do next” and less of something to fight or cry about. Setting clear rituals for your children is a great way to set boundaries and guidelines with them in a gentle, loving way.

Just about every pregnant mother has heard about the importance of exercising when you’re pregnant, but how many mothers truly commit to it over nine months? Pregnancy and childbirth is just like a marathon, and while you can never guarantee the outcome, you have the best chance of finishing well if you train well. Like any other athlete, this means proper nutrition and solid exercise. Check with your midwife or ob/gyn if you have any conditions outside a normal pregnancy, like hypertension, etc.; they can give you suggestions for starting exercise safely. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re five months along and have yet to get started; it’s never too late to start. Here are three easy pregnancy exercises you can start right now.

• Stretching. Yes, this counts! Stretching regularly throughout your pregnancy is a great way to enhance your flexibility in preparation for the Big Event, and is a proven way to loosen up and relax anytime, anywhere. Try shoulder circles for a tense back, or slow waist twists to ease middle-back tension. Stretch slowly and frequently, but be careful not to overdo it – increased amounts of the hormone relaxin during pregnancy are already at work to loosen up your joints.
• Walking. I know, I know you’ve heard this one before, too, right? Well, that’s because walking is great cardio for a pregnant body, low impact on those loosening joints, and absolutely free. If you’re in the market for new walking shoes, search out your local running shoe store; they’ll likely have someone qualified to watch you waddle walk and fit the best shoes for your changing body. But if you’re on a budget, or can’t find a running store, don’t let that stop you — lace up your most comfortable walking shoes and get walking! Start small, with 5-10 minutes a day, and work your way up. Also remember that speed isn’t important, but watch your form, keep your back straight and mind you footing. Walking is not only something you should do throughout your pregnancy, but is a MUST in labor, so get started now.
• Yoga. Not just for hippies anymore, prenatal yoga is a great way to stay in shape during pregnancy. Try to find a local yoga studio that offers prenatal yoga and feels right to you. Not only are the movements tailored to your new form, but often good prenatal instructors will start a class by asking how everyone’s feeling and what areas they’d like to work on. This is where you would raise your and complain lightly about how awful your lower back is feeling. More than likely, other mothers are feeling your pain (literally), and there are all kinds of pregnancy-safe exercises that can give you relief. Plus, it’s an amazing way to meet other mothers on the same journey. And in a pinch, don’t forget to look up online prenatal yoga routines or YouTube prenatal yoga exercises you can do at home.

Trust me, I know how hard it is to drag yourself out of bed, or off the couch when you’re feeling tired and blah, but if you can just get over the hump of the first few times, you’ll start to feel better and set the groundwork for a great healthy pregnancy.

I have a lot of respect for working mothers of small children. I say this because I am one, and I know how tough it is firsthand. I have the luxury of being employed by my husband’s business, which had given me so much more latitude than most working mothers ever have. Still, I’ve recently decided to quit working outside the home.

(On a side note, I think it’s important to stress the “outside the home” part, since what we parents do at home is tougher and more tiring than most “outside” jobs, as well as frequently thankless.)

Juggling home, family, toddler and spouse has been a nightmare. I’ve been tense all day, stressed at night and slowly falling apart. My husband wants to be supportive, but he’s just as tired and stressed as I am. For the past week whirlwind weeks, we’ve only seen our toddler in the morning before running off to work, and in the late afternoon when we get back. There’s barely enough time to make dinner and give her a bath before putting her to sleep. I miss her, I really do. I even had the babysitter start a small journal to fill us in on meals, new things she does, etc., because I realized just how much we were missing out on. After slogging through it all and several mini-breakdowns, I came to a conclusion.

This is not how I want to raise my child or take care of my family.

After discussing it together over the past few weeks, sometimes in arguments, sometimes while just quietly cuddling, we’ve come to the conclusion that the best thing for the family right now is for me return to the work at home and work on my abandoned writing career. For once, I’m actually looking forward to it. It’s not like when my daughter was three months old, and how trapped at home with her I felt. Now, she’s almost two, and the thought of getting the house organized, taking her to (more) playdates and outings sounds fun and encouraging. Not to mention the second child dear hubby and I were putting off because of our mad work schedules…

I know it won’t be a literal walk in the park, but at least this time I’m going into it with my eyes open. I know now that I’ll need to carve out some “me” time in advance: time to knit, write or go out for evening drinks with girlfriends. I know I’ll have to keep myself just as on-task at home as I have with my previous “outside” job.

Most importantly, I know I need to reach out to other women online and locally to form a better SAHM/WAHM support network, women who have gone through the same and have stories and jokes to get me through it. How do you feel about your current role as a working mother, either inside or outside of the home? If you’re in the same boat, or even the same ocean, I’d love to hear from you.

• Spinach. It’s full of vitamins A, C and K, as well as high in folic acid and iron. Other leafy greens like collard greens and kale are great substitutes.
• Blueberries. They’re rich in antioxidants and have vitamin C and manganese.
• Apples. There’s a reason for the whole “apple a day” line. They’re portable, delicious and a great source of fiber and vitamin C.
• Lean chicken/beans/nuts. The average healthy woman needs between 60-90g of protein per day while pregnant. Lean meats are the best source for meat-eaters; beans & rice and nuts, for vegetarians.
• Lowfat yogurt. Loaded with probiotics and calcium, yogurt is a great addition to almost any meal. (I like mine with cereal.)

And don’t forget to go for the organic versions of these foods whenever possible. A safe rule to follow is that if you can’t peel it, it’s safer to go organic.

I never really thought about dryer sheets much until I turned into a health nut a few years ago. It was then I first learned about questionable fragrance additives like pthalates, so being the good green sheep modern mother that I am, I switched to “free and clear” versions, occasionally buying some floofy natural versions. So, it was through reading the packaging on method brand dryer sheets that I discovered they “didn’t use animal fat”. Wha? There’s LARD in my DRYER??

Turns out, neuvo-homemakers, that the lovely charmingly-scented greasiness on commercial dryer sheets is typically animal fat. That cheap grease is what rubs off on all your clothes to combat static cling and keep that Fresh Breeze smell stuck to your clothes wash after wash…

Hmm, sounds like good fact-fodder for the next time you help your favorite mainstream-yet-PETA friend with her laundry.

If you’re not up for adding more mammal to your wash, but have problems with that naughty skirt-lifting static cling, I’ve had some success with those dryer ball things. There are name-brand ones, but I thought to myself “hmm, heating up plastic repeatedly, all over stuff I have on my skin ALL THE TIME; I think I’ll go with the green ones. Yeah…”

They have some hole inside for a “Nellie’s fragrance stick” but that just seems like a Bad Idea, so I stuck a cinnamon stick in there and when it stopped smelling like cinnamon, I put some essential oil on it and stuck it back in there. Rinse, repeat, stop if it’s on fire, you get the idea.

Or, you could always go the line-drying route… *wink-nudge*