crunchy parenting

Let’s face it. Even as a first-time parent, I noticed that most diaper bags are impractical, overly bulky or just downright ugly. After doing a bit of online research on the topic, I came to the conclusion that you carry the most stuff around when they’re small: burp clothes, feeding equipment, swaddling blankets, carriers, several changes of clothes, etc. A friend suggested to me the brilliant idea of looking up the features that appealed to me to make your own diaper bag and fitting it out with baby gear. This turned out to be awesome advice. Here’s an idea of what you may need to carry for the first 6 months / 1 year:

• Diapers
• Wipes
• Changing pad
• Swaddling blanket
• Baby carrier (no Baby Bjorns, please!)
• Burp cloths
• Pacifiers / teethers
• 1-2 Baby toys
• Diaper cream
• Bottles, formula, etc., if you’re feeding formula
• Extra nursing pads, if you’re nursing
• Extra change of clothes or two

I opted for the Dakine Valet (via Zappos). It’s big, roomy and stands open on it’s own to find things easily. It has a padded laptop area that fits my 13″ Macbook for when I stopped by work with the baby, or to be used as my carry-on bag on long flights and brought my computer with me. (It has a slip-over panel on the back to attach over your rolling suitcase handle.) It would be perfect for a padded iPad/Kindle/eReader slot. There’s a slim external zip pocket that I used for phone/wallet and an external buckle pocket that I used for small, less valuable items like sanitizer, etc. I loved that this thing had plenty of room for cloth diapers, rolled up blankets, clothes, etc and often used it as the baby’s “weekend bag” when I went to visit my mother. The downsides were the straps and handles. The shoulder strap always felt uncomfortable to me, and the width of the bag on my small 5’2″ frame made carrying it over my shoulder rather clunky. I eventually just removed the shoulder strap and used the handles as both grab handles and over-the-shoulder straps.

I also love using Eagle Creek packing cubes for organizing stuff in bigger bags and will be using them to separate my two kids’ things in one diaper bag. They’re collapsible, zippered bags with a mesh top so you can see what’s inside. The Eagle Creek Double-Sided Half Packing Cubes were practically meant for kids; one side is breathable mesh for clean clothes, the other is waterproofed and sealed in for the soiled clothes!

Like with most things, the first few months are the most awkward. I suggest packing a full kit for everywhere you go for the first month and try scaling back on the things you don’t need as you go. For example, I had small changing pad, but quickly found it was easier to just change her on an extra receiving blanket instead; it rolled up smaller and could be washed and dried with regular laundry.

Walk into any major toy store these days and you’ll find no shortage of things for your children to do. Thay can play with cars and trains, or dolls and ponies, build houses, and more. Yet, in spite of what appears to be an amazing selection, I’ve started to look at toy stores differently since becoming a conscientious parent.

I walk through the aisles and I see pre-fabricated stories being offered to my child. *Virtually gone are the simple block toys that could double for a phone as easily as a fire truck.* Now, children choose their adventures from predetermined lists. If you want to play with horses, you have to choose between the pink and purple My Little Pony sets or perhaps an immaculate Barbie-as-an-equestrian set. (Not to mention the limitations if you, or your child, happen to be a minority.) The tragedy of this arrangement is that more and more of the toys in toy stores are just profitable spin-offs from their television or home DVD shows. If you doubt this, *I beg you to help me come up with one example of a kids’ TV show that doesn’t have some kind of product for sale.* Even that old educational favorite, Sesame Street, can be found in some toy, drink, or item available for purchase in every town across America.

Now, I’m not advocating we eschew all modern entertainment for children. (Well, not entirely.) But there’s something to be said for letting young children discover the natural world around them in their own time and experience, rather than having it thrust upon them in these preconceived ways. *More and more educational experts are coming around to the idea that smart, successful young adults are born from children who have been allowed to explore their imagination to the fullest extent.* Creative play is slowly making its way back into mainstream parenting, as society realizes that by putting play first, a genuine passion and love of learning will follow.

So, how do you encourage creative play in your babies and toddlers, or wild imagination in your young children?

• Get rid of your television. (If you have a TV and didn’t click on the link, please do. There’s a reason this is the first step!)
• Weed through your children’s toys with your newfound critical eye. For example, how “open-ended” is that Lego Atlantis toy set? Regular Legos are great in that they encourage the child to think of new and different combinations, but some of the pre-fab sets are less creative. Start small and fill one grocery bag with toys to give away this week.
• Try out simple toys with your kids. It never fails to amaze me how long my 2-year-old can be occupied with a sand shovel and some dirt. Other cheap ideas are paint & paper, sidewalk chalk, or a hose, a bucket and some plastic cups with holes punched in the bottom. For older kids, you have to get a little more creative, but most still want to be be helpful. Try things like having them rearrange the pantry items by color, or pick out things they’d like to plant from a garden book or website.
• Be patient. Like sugar-addicts coming down off the Ho-Hos, kids that have been used to high-energy electronic toys or lots of TV time are going to take a little while to get used to playing with a stick and some mud, or a pile of wooden blocks. Resist the temptation to park them in front of the TV or your iPad even for “just a few minutes”. Tossing them outdoors with some toys and a bucket of snacks can work wonders on bored kids and your sanity.

If you’re in the market for new toys, check out Amazon’s great selection of natural toys or visit sites like Rosie Hippo and Moolka for more creative, imagination-firing ideas. Yes, some of these toys are more $$ than their typical plastic counterparts, but stick to the simple open-ended toys and don’t get more than a few. Your children’s’ creativity and resourcefulness will surprise you.

We’ve all heard it. Excessive TV watching is bad for you. You know you do it. You have it on in the evening and end up parked there for longer than you planned. Or maybe you find yourself guilty of parking your toddler in front of it for “just one Blues Clues” while you catch your breath. You’re sometimes tempted to scale back and turn it off more, or even get rid of it, but how would you get by? Don’t you need it to keep up with what’s going on in the world?

(If you happen to be one of the lucky few that is perfectly happy with your TV watching habits, the Simple Dollar offers some financial reasons to consider, while Trash Your TV has some fascinating facts about TV watching statistics.)

As a parent, I’m quite cautious about what my child are being exposed to. I want to be as aware of the potential for damage or danger as I can, and that makes me naturally suspicious of television, the great black box (or flatscreen) of advertising. Because, let’s face it, that’s what it is. At the same time, I can happily veg out in front of it for mindless entertainment in the form of True Blood and Vampire Diaries. The difference between adult viewing and child viewing is that when I watch TV, I’m aware of it’s time-sucking tendencies, unrealistic portrayal of life and ad-driven content. Children are oblivious to this, which is why (in a very simple fashion) TV is so bad for them.

But, the spouse and I like a handful of shows and such, so our household is set up to reschedule TV around our real life, when our daughter is awake. Here’s how we watch no TV during the day:

• Move the TV to a less central location of the house. We technically only have one TV and it’s in a small upstairs area that maybe only seats two or three, via floor chairs and one armchair. Our other TV is a projector in our guest room/office. Neither is convenient enough to just switch on as I go by to justify watching for even a few minutes, which keeps me from being lured in for the afternoon.
• Get a TiVo ($) or other TV recording device. Pre-recording your favorite shows means you can watch them on your own time, and skip the commercials.
• Get Netflix ($) and/or Hulu (free). Another great way to catch up on shows and movies that you like. If you also have TiVo, there’s an added bonus; without seeing commercials, you tend to miss out on all those great (and not so great) shows coming out. But if you get hooked on your friends’ water cooler excitement and want to catch up on a show that’s been running, you can find previous episodes or seasons on Netflix or Hulu.
• Do something else. If you (or your kids) are already hooked on the juice, then find something else to do fast! Draft up a list in advance of things to do (park, museum, library, hiking, etc.) and stick to it. Pick outdoor things as much as possible to reduce the possibility of giving in. Or pick indoor things that are messy (painting, baking, etc.) to give them (or you) a reason not to touch the remote.

For more tips on reducing your TV watching, check out Trash Your TV and 43 Things To Do When You Stop Watching Television.

A successful bedtime starts with a successful before-bed ritual. Would you go jogging for an hour and then throw your sweaty self down in bed to sleep? Probably not. Likewise, toddlers need a winding-down transition after dinner to get ready for sleep. Here are some ideas:

* _Start with an “evening bathtime ritual”:http://www.crunchyparenting.com/2010/03/7-simple-bathtime-rituals-for-parents-toddlers that works for you._ If you’re not giving night-time baths, re-consider the idea. An evening bath can be relaxing for you and your child, or a good way for a working-outside parent to reconnect before bedtime. If it really just won’t work for you right now, consider a quick “towel bath” with a warm washcloth before changing for sleep.

* _Prep the bedroom beforehand._ Get out the sleepwear, clean diapers, socks, etc. before or during dinner. Straighten out the crib, put toys away, etc. This is a 2-minute task, not a spring cleaning operation.

* _Light a candle_ with an older toddler. Do it just before sitting down to dinner, and take it with you to the bath for bathtime, and then to the bedroom while they get ready for bed. After saying their goodnights, let them blow it out before going to bed.

* _Sing a bedtime song_ and create your own after-bath, before-sleep ritual. Ours is to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” while getting out of the bath, then to brush teeth while still wrapped in a towel. (If you’ve ever wrapped a cat or dog in a towel to trim their nails or such, it’s a very similar strategy.)

* _Make saying “goodnight” interactive._ As you dress them for sleep, say goodnight aloud to family and caregivers, or other things your child has interacted with that day. We start with immediate family (“good night, Grandma”) and move on to objects and toys (“good night, squirrels”). This is a good low-key way to keep them occupied while you try to get them changed. If your child is talking, you can have them repeat each goodnight after you, but don’t correct them or force them; it might be too much for a tired little brain.

* _Set the mood for sleep._ Tuck them in, dim the lights. For trouble sleeping, consider playing “soft classical”:http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000Y0CV1M?ie=UTF8&tag=mylifeonline-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000Y0CV1M, or a white noise track. We used a “$.99 track of ocean waves and a soft heartbeat”:http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0012WWMHE?ie=UTF8&tag=mylifeonline-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0012WWMHE for the first year of bedtime and naptime; I’m sure it could put her to sleep in an instant even now.

As always, do your best to give them the reassurance of a routine, but don’t feel guilty if something unexpected comes up. Just scratch an ‘x’ through the day and start over tomorrow!h2. Your title here…

I’ve seen some god-awful highchairs in my time. I remember one in particular that had a popular name brand attached to it. From looks alone, it seemed kinda classy – wood high chair, with rounded corners and some plastic bit over the arms so you could attach a tray to it. But it was clunky and looked terrible actually pulled up to the dining table. Plus, it was a nightmare to clean food bits out from all those tiny corners.

A giant Tripp Trapp chair outside a store in Copenhagen.

I saw the “Tripp Trapp chair”:http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001D1A4IS?ie=UTF8&tag=mylifeonline-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001D1A4IS by Stokke for the first time at a friend’s house. It was simple, looked easy to clean and was equally elegant pulled up to their dining table. I loved that there was no feeding-the-kid-in-the-kitchen bit, but rather a family-centered focus that everyone sits at the dining table to eat dinner, no matter the age.

h4. *Some neat things about the Tripp Trapp chair:*

* *Easy to clean*. You can even take it completely apart for deep cleaning.
* *Adjusts as they grow*. Kids love things that fit them right.
* *Sturdy enough for a small-to-average adult to sit in*. Solid, hard to tip over.

I love that our Tripp Trapp matches our dining table.

h4. *Some not-so-neat things about the Tripp Trapp chair:*

* *Seat belt on the American version*. It’s a loose strap, 5-point harness, but it’s permanently screwed into the seat. Great with they’re small, but super annoying once they get olders. The European versions don’t have this, which makes it look and feel more like a real chair for older kids.
* *Don’t lose that hex screwdriver dongle!* Bolts are fastened with hex screws. Not impossible to find screwdrivers like that, but potentially frustrating when you’re trying to find the only one you own and pass up several Phillips and flathead ones in the search.
* *Baby insert on the American version*. I recently noticed that the baby insert on the European version is different again from the American one. The US one is a wide, curved plastic piece that attaches to the front of the chair. The effect is that of having two small holes for your baby’s legs to slip into, kind of like on shopping carts. http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=FFFFFF&IS2=1&nou=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=60A3BB&t=littlefeet-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&m=amazon&f=ifr&md=10FE9736YVPPT7A0FBG2&asins=B001D1A4ISThe European version feels much more classy and spacious: a slender wooden band shaped like a ‘T’ that keeps your child from slipping down and out, matched to the finish of the chair itself. We could have used the insert a lot longer with our large, tall child if we’d had the European-style one instead.

We’re going to need another one for Widget #2, so I’m definitely going to try and get the Euro version this time. Also, if the price freaks you out, don’t forget to look on eBay and craigslist for used ones in good condition – I imagine these chairs can last a lifetime.