crunchy parenting

The spouse-unit and I are on the hunt for a new car. His trusty old Jetta is nearing the end and we’re trying to figure out what to get next. (Sometimes I wish we lived somewhere with better public transportation!)

When I got pregnant with Spice, my beloved old Ranger truck was only four or five years old, but since it was far from baby-convenient, we looked at cars and I quickly picked out the VW GTI as my future ride. We got it a few months before Spice arrived, in time for taking visiting family on a road trip and for me to get used to driving it. But it was an easy choice and fit our needs. This next vehicle choice is a bit more complicated.

Neither the spouse-unit nor I are into big SUVs. Ideally, the spouse-unit would like a small, sporty car, and I think he should get one while he has the chance. We do like to take ski/snowboard trips up to the mountains, but we agree that it’s much more practical and economical to have a small car and rent the occasional SUV for those trips.

But we can’t deny that we are now FOUR in this family. My GTI should suffice for daily family outings, but all it takes is needing to take one more person, like my mother, or his parents when they visit, for us to be dragging two vehicles out and about. (And we have to admit that with two grandkids, the grandparents will be visiting a whole lot more.)

A seven-seating SUV would be ideal for this situation. Plus, we won’t be making any of those ski trips with just the four of us; we’ll be bringing along someone to help watch the kids for a few years, which means we’ll be needing those extra seats and space anyway. :-/

So, it seems like we’re getting a small SUV of some sort, right? Eh. Maybe not.

I’m lukewarm about the whole thing because I’m worried it’s going to go one of two ways. One way is that we get something cheaper and it becomes “my” car on a daily basis, while the spouse-unit takes the GTI. This sucks, IMHO, because I really wanted him to get the new car, and something that he loves and deserves. (He drives every day, while I might take the car out 3 times a week.) The other way is that we get something nicer, which still amounts to him driving a nice-but-chunky SUV every day, not his dream sports car.

After spending hours last night looking at various SUV options, this morning I’m leaning towards the original plan. We can “figure something out” when his parents come to visit for short trips, rent a bigger SUV for the long hauls, and manage occasionally with taking two cars out for local hops with more than four people.

I’m sure some of you have had to figure out this kind of puzzler before. What’s your car situation like?

Two weeks ago, I posted a pic of our living-room-in-despair. Here’s the updated version, thanks to the efforts of my mother and the spouse-unit’s wonderful cousin, C.

There are still some tweaks to be made, like figuring out how to get all the pictures back on the wall and re-organizing Spice’s toy corner. But for the most part, it’s habitable. They also stacked all the candles in the fireplace (which we don’t use) so it looks really pretty and cozy at night when they’re lit.

There’s been so much going on this past week that I’ve been a little lax in posting, but I’ve been skimming my favorite blogs and am reassured to see that everyone else is still being more productive than me!

• Why not just make them wear a sandwich board instead of a costume? // Julie of the Mom Slant talks about dragging kids and holidays into the political fray, this time over the Boo Nestle boycott.
• Nutmeg Microdermabrasion and Exfoliator // Just in time for the holidays, a facial treatment from Crunchy Betty that will have you dreaming of sugar plums and eggnog.
• Why I Said Good-Bye to My Microwave // Michelle of Green Earth Bazaar writes about the little box in the corner of your kitchen. We recently got an ultra-compact one after being without for a few years, but still barely use it, for all the excellent reasons Michelle points out.
• Trying to Become Organized // I loved Sarah’s recent post on One Starry Night about trying to get on board with organizing chores and meal planning. Sometimes I read so much promotional and instructional articles on how to get organized from all these already-organized people that I forget the slew of moms out there just like me try to get started and not fall off the wagon every day.

A month left to go of pregnancy and I realize that this blog is going to turn a little more personal and a little less informational. This week has been grueling hauling around the belly and I’ve been sleeping through the afternoons with Spice, time I usually reserve for blogging. I’ll still post lots of link love posts about the neat things I find to solve things around the house, but there will probably be more pics, podcast tidbits(!), and personal thoughts in the coming months.

(The pic above is of a few dozen unbleached cotton flat diapers, prewashed and being hung to dry. After our success with flats in Malaysia last summer, I’ll be retiring our prefolds into embellished burp cloths and such.)

I’ve been making Christmas stockings out of some red velvet Ikea curtains. I have a bunch of them, so I’m thinking of doing some pillow covers for December, too. Strangely, they cost a lot less than an equivalent amount of red velvet from Joanns would have been.

I also dug out these log cabin blocks from the bottom of my fabric stash pile. I think I’d started a quilt for someone and stalled. Turns out that stitched together end-to-end, it’ll make an awesome table runner for Thanksgiving. This was my first time machine quilting and all I can say is I HATE INVISIBLE THREAD!

Somewhere in-between, I’m going to do another batch of baby legwarmers for the new baby. The ones I did two years ago for Spice are a little worn, but were indispensable and held up great. New Baby deserves some new ones though, even if Spice gets to wear these Halloween ones first.

I’ve always been a bit of a lone wolf. The first time I was expecting, I did my usual politeness and pleasantries with everyone around me, but other than the wonderful spouse-unit, I didn’t really plan to let anyone help, or truly accept any offers of help.

This time is so different.

I really think my ‘lone wolf’ mentality added to my postpartum depression after Spice was born. I was entirely convinced that it was possible to be a perfect, crunchy supermom of a child that was so secure and had every need instantly met that they never fussed for a moment. Sure, every other mom around me had “failed” this in some regard, but they weren’t me and they probably just weren’t as committed to being as organized/prepared/determined(/idiotic) as I was.

I can see you shaking your head at the screen. I know, I know – good lord, how I set myself up for such a fall.

The first six months of Spice’s life alternated between PPD nightmare and grey fog. I only have vague memories of life then, and most of them are terribly unpleasant. By the time I snapped out of it, two things were entirely clear to me: you just can’t do this alone and that no one gets everything right.

Now, I have to amend that second statement a little because I feel modern society has gotten a little too slack on itself lately. Just because no one gets everything right in parenting doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be trying 150% every single day. I see too many parents taking way more shortcuts than they should be, not because they’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown and they absolutely have to, but because they were too lazy/incompetent to read and research a little beforehand about what would be in their child’s best interests. [end rant]

As I was saying, you can’t do this alone. This time around, I’m so much more aware of it. There’s the little things, like getting help to the car when I have a huge bag of cat litter, and the slightly bigger things, like having the spouse-unit’s cousin come and stay with us for a few months around the birth to help with Spice. There’s knowing my own limits and settling down on the couch with a cup of tea, even though the living room looks like we’ve just been robbed and I can see food bits under the table that need to be swept up. There’s the delegation of more tasks to the spouse-unit than independent-me is entirely comfortable with. But, oh well.

I have to suck it up because I can’t flip out this time. I need to be sane, for the wellbeing of my family and the wellbeing of “future me”. And one of the best ways to ensure that is to make sure that I’m not too proud to admit to friends and family when I could use a little extra help.

How do you feel about asking for help or support when you need it?

 

Happy Friday the 13th, everyone! I’m running around trying to catch a fly in the house and catch up with all my FlyLady tasks (there’s a good joke in there somewhere), so here’s some link love for y’all in the meantime..

• You’re Not A Real Writer // Los Angelista’s excellent post on what makes a “real” writer. I kept thinking of parallels to what makes a “real” mother and found it spot on.
• Little White Lies // Crayon Wrangler asks “what little white lie have you told your kids?” Don’t forget to read the comments; they’re hilarious!
  

  Photo by Tim & Selena Middleton

• 10 top tips for breastfeeding in public // “Adriel, from the Mommyhood Memos, offers some great practical advice to help even the most modest mamas.
• You Capture – Everyday things // Beth, of I Should Be Folding Laundry, has an awesome challenge/assignment going, in which you take photograph certain topics, or subjects. More deets can be had here.
• DIY Homemade Trail Mix // Absolutely drool-worthy, and looks like a breeze to make. Courtesy of Green Earth Bazaar.

Now, where did that dratted fly go…